Where I Am Now
Five years ago when I got Blondie, the first work was getting the joy back. She’d been started harshly as a young horse, worn a cribbing collar that caused partial facial nerve paralysis on the right side. The first years were about making training something she wanted to participate in again. Getting her sparkle back.
You’ve seen Blondie in The Integration—what happens under harsh training versus patient building. Five years later, we’re still working. Still refining. Still discovering new layers.
Now we’re troubleshooting something subtle. In her left turns, for example, she loses her rhythm for a few steps. Five years ago the problems were impossible to miss. Now I need video review to find them.
That’s the practice. That’s what patient building looks like.
Both Anja and Alex noticed the pattern when reviewing video. Right turns are smooth. Left turns—she struggles. She’s naturally bent to the right, stiff on the left side. When she turns left, I can see her head bobbing up for 2-3 steps, then she catches her balance again.
My hypothesis: she needs more suppleness on the left side to turn fluidly. Without that bend, her right hind leg can’t step under to carry weight. She’s leaning on her shoulder instead. With the weight on her shoulder, getting that leg off the ground takes effort—that’s the head bob. She’s compensating with her head/neck to move a leg her body isn’t quite prepared to move smoothly.
So right now I’m working on lateral work with left bend—shoulder-in primarily. She knows the movement already. We’ve built it. But maintaining it is still difficult for her. At walk, it’s working better. At trot, it’s still challenging.
The progression: build quality at walk first. Then add trot once the capacity is there. Months of work overall. But I’m expecting small improvements within each lesson if I focus on quality and move in small steps.
What will I celebrate as progress? At least one fluid and light turn to the left. Even if it’s on a big circle, which is easier than a smaller turn. One moment where the rhythm doesn’t break, where the balance maintains, where her body can do what I’m asking.
The question I keep asking myself: Is this purely about her capacity—she needs more time at this layer to develop the strength and suppleness? Or is there something in my seat? What can I improve in how I’m sitting to help her?
The Integration Letters reflects the learning in progress, not the finished work: the puzzles, the adjustments, the small celebrations when a layer finally holds. Shared through email, when there’s something worth saying.”
This isn’t for everyone. If you want quick results or a clear progression to follow, you won’t find it here. What you’ll find is someone practicing The Integration — with all the uncertainty that involves.
The Integration Letters is the beginning. A community follows.
For the horse. For us.